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Flirting Advice: 4 Texting Rules To Get A Boy To Like You!

1728 ratings | 114811 views
Being a bad texter can RUIN your chances of dating your crush. Here are my 4 simple rules to make him like you and not look desperate! Rule 1: Don’t Text Him First! Let him pursue you! Rule: Don’t Respond to Him Unless …. Rule: What If He's Ignored 2 Of Your Texts? Rule: Pick Your Favorite Number 💜 GOT A LOVE QUESTION? 💜 👉 Head to https://www.instantgo.com/shallonxo 👉 Download the app and find me, ShallonXO, and submit your question. 👉 Get an answer within 24 hours--guaranteed! 👉 Only $2 a message! 💜 SUBSCRIBE: New videos every Friday! 💜 ENGAGE: Check the Community tab for advice, polls, and more info on this week’s topic! 💜 FOLLOW: Snapchat, Instagram & Twitter @ShallonXO 💜 RELATED VIDEOS: 👉Translating Boy’s Texts - http://ow.ly/IXhXV 👉Ask Shallon: How to Tell If a Boy Likes You – http://ow.ly/IXi66 👉The Do's and Don'ts of Sexting and Sending Nudes – http://ow.ly/IXi9t 👉The REAL Reason Guys Ask For Nudes! -- https://youtu.be/Cj_yFrVt7WQ
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Text Comments (266)
Erin Jv (2 months ago)
Here’s a joke Read more
Erin Jv (2 months ago)
Honestly I needed this...
djangogeek (7 months ago)
"making his life easier makes your life harder and its hard enough being a girl already" this explains so much....
Radar Garments (7 months ago)
you had at me at Penguins fan lol I’m in Pittsburgh and love your channel! thanks for all you do!!
Alisha Maharjan (7 months ago)
Just subscribed I just couldn't help😁😉 thank God I found you💗😘
I just fucked up I texted my crush a QUESTION and he just left me on read for 6 times and FINALLY i see this video, seriously? Now? Omg I need better recommended videos
Yasmin Fernandez (10 months ago)
Thanks for the great advise 💕💕💕
Sookie Luo (1 year ago)
You should make a video abt if the guy should pay for dinner,travel spends kinda of things!
daya (1 year ago)
dont text guys first...
cami (1 year ago)
Do everything she says here except the “Don’t respond to him if he’s not asking you a question.” This makes you look sooo uninterested and annoyed by him, you don’t want that!! The dreamy boy is talking to you!! Enjoy!!!!!
Adam Parks (1 year ago)
Do all of these rules apply when you're actually in a relationship with the guy? Because not responding and not texting him first seems like I'm trying to give him negative hints.
Shallon Lester (1 year ago)
Don't totally discount these tips but you're right, it shouldn't be this extreme. Although with my BF, I let him text me, let him wonder where I am a little bit. Even in--no, ESPECIALLY IN a relationship, guys still need to feel like there's something to chase. So its important to leave a little room for mystery, and one easy way to do that is to stay busy yourself, and have a lot of hobbies and activities. it'll give you things to talk about and not make the "hard to get" thing seem phony.
Devangi shah (1 year ago)
i love you❤❤❤
pawhi cx (1 year ago)
shallon, you've honestly saved me from so much shit, I actually love you so much
Alice Mccairn (1 year ago)
What does it mean when a guy texts you first and opens a conversation but then you end up having to carry the convo further and keep asks questions? His he just lazy or does he not want to talk anymore?
Shallon Lester (1 year ago)
Both, I'd imagine. A lot of times people reach out in a moment of boredom, but then that passes and its like ugh i'm still in this convo and i don't need to be anymore. So screw that. If he's not keeping up his end of the conversational duties, then YOU stop replying. Let him know through your behavior that you're one's boredom toy. If he wants to talk to you, he can shoulder the burden and even better, hang out IRL!
Ny Monrose (1 year ago)
Love this Video!! Thank you!
J G A (2 years ago)
Girls night, some wine and boy talk with Shallon= dream Saturday night
Shmooboogie (2 years ago)
I agree with shallon on so many things but some of these tips are a little out dated like for instance a lot of people meet guys off of dating apps or social media and this is there way of getting to know one another so if a girl doesn't respond to a guy(because he didn't ask her a question) he might just assume she isn't interested and obviously does not care enough (because it's in the early stages) to chase after her and embarrass himself.I think after they have been talking for a while and made a solid connection then you can make him work for it and be a little distant with texts.This generation of teens is so different with the Social media that is how a lot of people connect and I have yet to find a video that really tackles how to keep a guy interested that you met online.I do agree with the no texting first though at least make him put a little work into it
persephanie31 (2 years ago)
So what if a guy gives you his number instead of asking you for yours?
Shallon Lester (2 years ago)
Send a simple "Hey is Shallon :)" and thats it.
Bolu Olaleye (2 years ago)
my fave number is 3.... lmao no. not gonna happeen
TacoCactusComedy (2 years ago)
i have a little tip that worked for me: Just ask him if he likes you. but if he says no and asks why, then you explain that you see him looking at you and you were just wondering. keep it short, or he'll think you like him. if he says yes, congrats. if he asks why but doesn't answer yet, say the same thing as if he said no. (cussing is a habit of mine)
Andrea111116 (2 years ago)
thank god i found this channel
thank u next (2 years ago)
omg i learn so much from you
T Kid (2 years ago)
Biggest load of bullshit I ever saw, I would rather turn gay than date a girl like this, if all girls in the world were like her, i'd probably cut my dick off!
Shallon Lester (2 years ago)
I hereby give you permission to go gay. We don't need you.
Uba // (2 years ago)
these videos are honestly so helpful! wish I had found you earlier..thank you!
Mr Arsenal (2 years ago)
This girl is crazy 😜 girls should sometimes start a conversation.. not everytime you expect a man to do that.. unless you want to be single
G0ldwaves (1 year ago)
WRONG! as a girl I tried that. It led to nothing. Every damn time. Her advice is on point.
c c (2 years ago)
hey so I tried your snapchat skills and it worked he actually tried to text me thru text msg since i didnt reply his snapchat. he said 'sorry i guess im a good guy , just not good with texting and snapchat and stuff' in that case should i reply to it? it doesnt have question mark but at the same time i don't want him to think im mad at him or not interested anymore. what should I do. should i reply and reply what. HELP love u so much xx
CasserE 2019 (2 years ago)
some of this stuff is full of crap. I sometimes say hi first. and I respond either way because that's just being disrespectful not to answer.
Victoria Hatzson (2 years ago)
oh my God i've been doing it all wrong!!! but that was just because i wanted to make sure that i made a move on order to keep in touch, i mean i can't expect everything from others right!??
Blanca Cerdán (2 years ago)
What about the timing? Like should I answer right away if I'm on my phone?
Hot Damn (2 years ago)
i love your vids. u crack me up. i love how no matter how old i get a boy a.k.a. 40 yr old man can bring me back to those swoony middle school days of drama filled and fueled romantic feelings that are both blissful and make me want to puke. ugh! boys!
KillerStash (2 years ago)
I'm a fucking kid, you douchebag
Edward (2 years ago)
this is how i lost my crush......
Alaria Saccuci (2 years ago)
Shallon, do girls show love mainly in words of affirmation while guys show it through physical touch?
Queen Pebbles (2 years ago)
I disagree with this... Boys like to be texted first once in a while. They get tired of ALWAYS initiating. And if the two have been talking for a while, then it should be normal and fluid when they text each other. people stop thinking about "what do I say next". For my guy and I its 50/50
no no (2 years ago)
Shallon Lester i agree with +Queen Pebbles guys like to be texted first sometimes. I text a guy first half the time and half the time he texts first, it's not really a strict rule that I have
Shallon Lester (2 years ago)
I think that if you're dating or in an established romance, yes def make it an equal effort. But i don't want girls staring things by STARTING things, guys need to chase and work for it in the beginning!
Zarah Zalazar (2 years ago)
I freaking love you yaaassss girl.
Olivia Xie (2 years ago)
Hey, Shallon. I watched almost all your videos, and it's really helps me alot. I want say thank you first. And I wonder know if you have email address can give to me? Because I m involve to a completely relationship now. I don't know what should I do, so I think you may can help me out. Thank you again.
purplemermaid (2 years ago)
okay so is it okay to snapchat a guy first? me and this guy hungout and hooked up twice ...and he snapchats me sometimes but I snapchatted him first yesterday and I was goin to today but idk if I should. I don't wanna loose our snapchat streak:( idk what to do
Mohamed Abdel-Moneim (2 years ago)
This is a guide on how to be a bitch
Lily Fiel (2 years ago)
+Shallon Lester 😂😂😂 hahaha
Shallon Lester (2 years ago)
Why yes sir, yes it is.
nina anya Lockhart (2 years ago)
This is such bad advice if your watching this do not listen to her!
Charlotte B (2 years ago)
Actually girls can text guys however they wish to there isn't any specific rules they should follow they should just be themselves because that's actually what guys care about most. Besides its much better than getting "advice" that will just make girls feel bad about themselves when they shouldn't.
Kaylie P (2 years ago)
So if he says "i like you" i shouldn't respond since it's not a question. Thank you sooo much Shallon! :)
thank u next (2 years ago)
Nina C. (3 years ago)
How do I get someone to text me first? I talked with my crush at a party and then I sent him a request on fb.. So now what? Did I f*ck up? Shouldn't I have sent that friends request?! OMG I just ruined everything :O
Elise Ummels (3 years ago)
Nah it's alright.
Civona Nelson (3 years ago)
but what if he only has talked to me once and I like totally blew it. and said something stupid. and I'm worried if he thinks im not interested in him even though I am. I'm worried he won't start another convo with me, if I don't start one with him first. Shallon! I NEED help!😭😭😭
Marina dd (3 years ago)
Hi shallon! I was talking about Astrology with this guy and he was like "that's cool, you might have to show me sometime" and I was like "its soo easy, just go on a laptop" and I feel bad, because my reply was so dry and he hasn't texted me back yet and its been a day, should I text him again and ask if he wants to hang or try to continue a normal conversation, or should I wait until he texts me again?
Charlotte B (2 years ago)
Text him again to show that you care still and he'll think that you didn't mean to be blank and will want to text you too
Vy Bo (3 years ago)
this is like the most usefull video ever!! i'm not even joking
Americusgomez0528 (3 years ago)
I'm so confused. Boy YouTubers say they like girls to text them first. But you say not to? I'm so confused
Abhinav Bablani (3 years ago)
Fuck you girl I don't know how the hell is your love life going on you can't love someone that's for sure cuz u SUCK 110%
Abhinav Bablani (3 years ago)
+Shallon Lester # I don't give a f**k about you. I just hope that God doesn't make the rest of the girls like you 😇
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Abhinav Bablani Well true, I wasn't blessed with your vocabulary, I guess all you can do is pity me huh?
Gray Man (3 years ago)
I bet your boyfriend finds you super irritating
gloria martinez (3 years ago)
In this video you mention not to awnser a txt if it's not a question but what if he just sent you like "Heyy" or "Hello" you should respond to that right? 😂
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+gloria martinez Hm yes, go ahead, but don't take the lead on the convo. If he's reaching out, let HIM be the one to say "how was your day? what did you do this weekend?" etc. There needs to be more than just "heyyyy" to keep your attention!
Cubing4 MC (3 years ago)
This is a girls guide to being a bitch
Elise Ummels (3 years ago)
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
Lauren Howell (3 years ago)
I never had a big sister, or anyone who would be this real with me- this is so helpful!
Lauren Howell (3 years ago)
+Shallon Lester by the way how do I ask you questions of my own? I'm not sure if you have an email for it or if I'm just supposed to leave a comment
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Lauren Howell That is such a compliment thank you!!
Ellise Colaizzi (3 years ago)
yayy penguins!! I live in pa haha
Diy Days (3 years ago)
Hellpp me plzz💖 Ok so, My crush and I, went to the same school for like 4 years and we knew eachother very well. But sadly I had to move houses and SCHOOLS in a totally different place! 2Years later (now) I found out that he had IG so i added him & he texted me saying ''Hey'' and then we were talking for a looong timee! Then one day at skl my best friend knew tht i liked him so, she went on my phone and started to text REALLY rude things to him and then.... i went on ig DM and then i could see the messages! So i said sorry and i knew it was my friend who did this😒 and everytime i text him saying 'sorry it was an accident!' he gives me dirty looks (emoji's) and i wish i could say sorry to him by person, but now we moved wat should i doo😭😭 (ps: ive liked him EVER SINCE!)
bliss ng (5 months ago)
:( That sounds rough. Just be honest with him and tell him that your friend was the one who used your phone to text him the rude things .
Charlotte B (2 years ago)
If your friend did that then she's really not a true friend I suppose. And don't worry because you shouldn't feel so bad about it, especially since you did nothing wrong. Just stop over thinking it- he's probably just giving those responses for attention a lot of people do that. I think you should just ignore the situation because it's not that big of a deal, and start talking about something new because maybe he's just annoyed that you won't let the conversation go perhaps. I'm sure he'll forgive/forget and the best thing is to just start fresh and make a new convo. :)
Diy Days (3 years ago)
+RubyRants™ I could try to💗
RubyRants (3 years ago)
Just say it was your 'friend' who said those things
Lucian Mandoiu (3 years ago)
I'm using my dad's computer. I'm a 12 year old girl and I think, you just made my day... I love you! Thank you
Christina Bunch (3 years ago)
love it
anorexic princess (3 years ago)
Holy crap i love your advice. I take pretty much all of it and im not a very attractive person but i can get and keep guys interested so fast with this stuff
Lapis Lazuli (3 years ago)
Bella Braciszewski (3 years ago)
ok so I get the "don't respond if its not a question" like if he says "ok" or "oh" or "that's cool" but like what if he's your boyfriend and he says "I miss you"? your not gonna respond to that? and also, why can't girls text boys first? can't you show him you have a little interest in him by texting him first?
yo (3 years ago)
+Shallon Lester how about if he's your bestfriend and there's no awkwardness when texting him? Like, if he tells you something like idk tells you something that happened to him, a joke idk,
Bella Braciszewski (3 years ago)
+Shallon Lester oh thanks! I was confused
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Drawing YouTube If he's your boyfriend, the rules are obviously different. But if you text a boy first you never get a clear picture of his intentions. There's a HUGE difference between a guy who's REPLYING (he's bored, he's lonely, he needs an ego boost) and a boy who is INITIATING (he's into you, he wants to see how you are, he wants to see you)
Nikita Hill (3 years ago)
What if you Break those rules and say your boyfriend hasn't texted you in like two days that he still sees your messages what do you do and what did you say something really bad Lake did I do something this is my boyfriend but and then I texted her and miss you text me when you can But I texted these text messages on two different days that I freaked them out well they freak me out I need your help please I'm 14 years old my boyfriend is 14 as well please are you desperate for advice
Mercy Mawondo (3 years ago)
Inini ndotanga shaa
MiaRose_ (3 years ago)
Me and my boyfriend have just started going out and I kind of text him more and he says he's shy because it's new but how do I make him be more comfortable and stuff, please help shallon💗
MiaRose_ Aren't You To Young For A Boyfriend..?
ThreeSparkleGirls (3 years ago)
i'm freaking out!! my crush just texted me that he finds me quite pretty, but he doesn't talk to me in person... now I'm a little confused if he does or doesn't like me...
Jaiden Rollins (3 years ago)
That is stupid girls can text guys first
Hugh Mungas (1 year ago)
Beauty by Ash that's bullshit
Literally just Ash (3 years ago)
+Shallon Lester then again most people watching this are probably teens so our gereration could be different. And girls can text guys first and get the same result as if the guy were to text first
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Jaiden Rollins You can DO whatever you want. But it's not going to get you the results you want. Just like you can eat pizza every day...but not if you want a good body. That's just how it is. So yeah, do whatever, I dont care. But dont then wonder why you're not getting the outcome you desire.
Emily Crew (3 years ago)
Guys have huge responsibilities they are usually the ones known to ask the girl out they are the ones who pay for dinner on a date and I'm a girl am I the only one that notices this
Karla A (1 month ago)
Yea well women have the bigger responsibility and pain of bearing children. So no sympathy for men.
Andrea Foster (3 years ago)
Hey, Shallon! Should I respond to a "hey"? Or for example if he asked me how am I doing and I answered, is it alright to "how about you?" the conversation seemed so awkward. Just then, he asked me if I was angry or something and neither does he believe that it was me. what should I do?
Taylor Council (3 years ago)
I wish I would have watched this video before I did all the things she said not to do lol
Samantha Margerum (3 years ago)
I just get nervous that if I don't respond he'll take it as me not being interested when I soooo am
Maddie (3 years ago)
Shallon I have this situation where I liked this guy and so did my best friend I thought he liked me because he was giving me some signals but then my friend thought she would go for it so she told him trough text if he liked her and he said yes... Then after that she told him that I liked him too then a week past and he dumped her.... And now he is opening up to me about personal stuff I don't know if he likes me or not
Maddie (3 years ago)
Thank you so vary much shallon
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Xavier South It sounds like he's using you as a therapist. If a guy likes a girl in a romantic way, he won't start spilling his guts about personal stuff, it emasculates him (in his mind, at least). Guys want to appear strong and assured and in control when pursuing a girl. Don't fall into the trap of being his shoulder to cry on.
Veronika Rodriguez (3 years ago)
Can you respond to a "hey" ? I've stopped texting him since this video for a while now. With the random small chat so I just stop texting him, with him as the last text whether it's 11am or 11pm. And wake up the next morning to another text, which he doubled (sometimes triple if I wait till my evening lunch break, or he will throw in a snap chat if he doesn't text 3 times in a row ) He is the type of guy who is used for girls just falling for him, and getting comments like "you're so cute" "you're so hot" "rate 10" and he likes the brunette pretty girls which I'm brunette lol... I refuse to be that type of girl like the rest of them chasing him. I'm sick of playing that game with guys. If truly want me and pursue a relationship they won't just use me for an "ego" boost or a flirting game.
Moike Poie (3 years ago)
How can I get contact with my crush? :D I'm in high school, I just started a new one.. and this guy, I have catched him looking at me a few times. He is adorable. I don't know his name though, and I've tried to see if some of my new friends do, but it seems like he's also new and I'm not quite sure. He sometimes sits alone in the cafeteria, should I just sit somewhere and smile at him?
Deborah (3 years ago)
why is it that she kinda scares me
alves moon (3 years ago)
I absolutely love this video,so helpful!
Violet McLaughlin (3 years ago)
Can I e-mail you and talk to you. You inspire me and I just need to talk to you about my boyfriend and ask for your advice.
Violet McLaughlin (3 years ago)
Should I do this is I have a boyfriend? I really need your help.
wening tresnany Sheyza (3 years ago)
Thank's for the tips, i like your accent how you talking ahahaha... And i feel pretty confused now about texting with my crush :(
Natalie Smith (3 years ago)
hi Shallon! im in high school and i am going through love sick! and it feels soso uncomfortable everyday. (female) i really really like this guy and weirdly, i have went out to see a movie with him last sunday night(i asked him) and had a great time. but the thing is, it was really random, as in i haven't spoken to him in 2 years but managed to talk with him once or twice before the movie. i guess he has a hint of me liking him huh? i text him first as well and after watching few of your videos all i did was wrong!.. there is prom also coming up and i have no idea what to do, i want him to ask me but..  even worse, i wont see him for another semester due to a school oversea program. prom is after i come back.. help please..
Jennifer Joseph (3 years ago)
Hello Shallon. I like this guy but the thing is, I only see him a couple of times a month. (Sometimes I only see him only 1 time a month). We go to the same church but we go to different schools. We have nice conversations when we see each other; we are friends but we're not very close. We text on instagram but we have not exchanged numbers yet. How do I go about this, considering that we don't see each other all the time? Is it even possible to get him to like him?
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Jennifer Joseph Move on. This guy may enjoy talking to you when he sees you but doesn't seem like he's into you enough to pursue you, and there's nothing you can really do to change that. If a guy has access to you (aka he sees you IRL, has mutual friends, has your instagram, has your #---literally any way to get in touch) and isn't establishing a pattern of regular frequent contact AND escalating that contact (smiles to chats to calls to dates) then he's not into it. Don't waste time chasing a guy who isn't into you, plenty more boys out there i promise!
Victoria K (3 years ago)
Okay so... I'm in 7th grade. He's in 7th grade with me too. But the problem is I asked one of his friends to ask him to text me but I waited and waited and waited and never got a message or email or whatever from him. I waited for 4 months and never got a message or news from him. Then, I ask one of his other friends who I'm really close to. I ask him on 6/3/15, now Idk if he WILL ever text me or not. He probably wait until the end of school... But I really wanted to text him though! Is there anyway to text to a guy?
Monse Bernal (3 years ago)
The guy I like and Me tend to send eachother paragraphs when we are really into a conversation which is like everyday. It's not flirting (although there is every now and then) but should I keep up with the long messages back and forth or should I stop doing it? Plus this Saturday we are going to a carnival together and I would tell him no just to keep him chasing but we don't see eachother a lot so it would suck to say no to him. What do you think??
Monse Bernal (3 years ago)
Okay I got you! Thanks so much, it makes much more sense now 😜
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Monse Bernal Stop texting with him. Have those convos IRL. Remember, texting with boys should be used for quick little messages like "hey running late" not "so here's my life story..." You are worth a call or an IRL hang out, don't let your entire relationship exist digitally otherwise it will NEVER be anything else but that. But def go to the carnival with him! You want to discourage digital communication and encourage IRL dates and hang outs!
Kjpbeauty (3 years ago)
Ok exemption please ,end of class last day before summer he gives the girl his number bell rings, didn't get her number (big swarm of kids trying to leave) What should she do can she text first in this case?
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Kjpbeauty Trust me, if he wants to get a hold of her there are BILLIONS of ways. Facebook, twitter, snapchat, etc etc etc. If he was truly concerned with staying in touch, he would've made 100% sure he had HER info, not the other way around.  In fact, this isn't an exception at all--this just underscores the fact that he truly isn't pursuing her, he wants HER to contact HIM so he gets an ego boost and has something to pass the time when he's bored. My rules hold.
I need help!! There is this Guy in my class and I like him. But he had a lot of "girl" friends. He never had a girlfriend and I guess never really flirten before so how would I Know if he likes me? And how do I separate myself from all the other girls he is friends with. I don't want to seem desperate 😓😩
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+hannah van lookeren campagne If a guy has a lot of girl friends, watch out. That means he's addicted to female attention and enjoys having chicks around who clearly like him...even though he has no intention of dating any of them. He just likes to be lavished with affection and have his ego boosted. That kind of guy doesn't really change and they certainly don't settle down easily. So crush on him, find him hot, but don't count on him as a potential boyfriend. His head just isn't in that space.
Sarah Stein (3 years ago)
i completely agree that texts should be kept short & you shouldn't send more than 2 messages without a reply, but the other 2 don't always work. for example, I was texting this guy that I met at a party on the weekend. he was texting me first, and he was carrying on the conversation, but after I stopped replying when it wasn't a question, he stopped texting me. i think it sometimes shows that you aren't interested. so, after thinking long & hard and asking my guy friend what to do, he said you should always keep the conversation going. if you don't respond and the guy is flirting, it makes him almost feel embarrassed. he also told me to text him first next, because he hadn't texted me in 3 days and I felt like I upset him. at first, the conversation was awkward & I was always asking the questions (but I think that is because he thought I wasn't interested, or he was mad that I did that). but after a while, it got back to normal & now we're having a normal conversation. sometimes it is okay to be forward. :)
Pedro S. Brown (1 year ago)
yea then u pushing it u dont wanna seem like he annoying u without a reward from time to time... he jus gonna go chase another female....
soukaina xo (1 year ago)
minusculebloom that happened cuz he wasn't that interested not that he got mad !!
minusculebloom (3 years ago)
+Sarah Stein hey the same thing happened to me, now I'm confused what to say to return the situation back to normal :( because I think he was upset. Any advice what how to fix this? haha
Saskia Mccallum (3 years ago)
Hello shallon, so I like this boy for 2 years 😳 am in high school he's the year above me,(sorry I don't know how American schools work am from the uk) we have had a thing for each other and we have shared moments between us 😘 he know I like him but we are just to good friends any help to change that ?💗💗
Saskia Mccallum (3 years ago)
Thank you 💗 help me a lot
Shallon Lester (3 years ago)
+Saskia Mccallum If he has access to you for TWO YEARS and knows you like him but isn't making moves, it's because he's just not into you in a romantic way. He probably is still being chatty and flirty though because he's enjoying the ego boost it gives him. Don't put up with that. Stop being his BFF (having guy friends is a huge waste of time and leads to nothing but confusion, IMO) and take back your dignity and power.
Shells XOXO (4 years ago)
Shallon guys like to be texted first tho
gothkendall (3 years ago)
Woahitsbriii (4 years ago)
Hello shallon. I really need your help there this guy that I have been talking to for about 2 months now. I met him online and have never met him in person were going to the movies this Friday and I'm just not so sure if I should still go! He flirts with me ALOT he calls me babe and sends kissy emoji faces. Even when we FaceTime he always flirts telling me he loves me I genuinely think he likes me I really like him too!! but there's just one problem the day he told me he loved me changed everything but about 2 days later he asked out his gf which he still has now. I told him he needs to choose between me or her cause I'm tired of being the side one. But he always changes the subject and when I ask again he says that he can't choose right know. I don't know what to do please respond!!!
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
+Woahitsbriii Sorry, did you say that you're about to go on a date with a guy who HAS A GIRLFRIEND? That's a very very very bad idea. An extremely bad idea. If this guy truly liked you, he wouldn't have (HELLO!) gone out and gotten a girlfriend! YOU would be his girlfriend. This guy is playing you because he likes the ego boost. Watch this video, then cut this guy out of your life. He is using you and making you look like a fool and you are too good for that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP1WZ4AkvPA
Tamara Rudolf (4 years ago)
hey! so...about two month's ago i started texting on fb with a guy who goes to the same school as me. I liked him since september,(when i started high school,but he is allredy 18 and i'm 15) and in february i found out who is he so i added him on fb and snapchat...then he started snapchating me and then we ended up chatting on fb. We have been chatting every day(atleast 5x a week) and he is allways the one who starts the conversation. He is really nice and he allways smiles and says hi to me when we see each other in the halway. But the problem is that he is quite shy and we never talked in person (just saying hi)...and he hasn't asked me out(i gues he is that tipe of person who wants to get to know you first),so i don't know what to do..we can't just chatt forever. Please tell me if i should ask him if he want to see a movie or shoud i point it out ?? i really like him and i don't want to mess this up.. If you anser i would really appreciate it...and sorry about my english haha love from Slovenia<3
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
+Tamara Rudolf Don't ask him to go to the movies. You've done enough chasing. He's had MORE than enough chances to take this offline and if he hasn't, then that's your answer.
Tamara Rudolf (4 years ago)
+Shallon Lester thank you and i watched the video and i understand now...but the thing is that he allredy pointed out that he wants to go out with me..so i will give hima a last chanse and do what you said. if he will want to go to the movies with me than that's ok but if he will make an excuse i gonna move on!
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
+Tamara Rudolf You need to watch this because you're getting played; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph8sTknFDiU In the future NEVER NEVER text/message/chat a boy first. Ever. ESPECIALLY if he goes to your school! If he has access to you and you have literally one thing in common (like school!!) and he's not chatting you up or making moves, it's because he simply doesn't want to. You chasing him down and making all the moves doesn't work and leads to exactly where you are: confusion and misery. Next time, let a boy come after you.
y0aVi Unknown (4 years ago)
this is so stupid
brody kendall (4 years ago)
Hey shallon, there's this boy at school and he threw a snowball at my butt, he always playfully teases me, he asked me to go to the movies alone with him(idk if it's a date or not), his friends always say he likes me, he won't leave me alone on skype, he always hugs me,he always follows me around, and idk if he actually likes me or not... What do you think?
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
+Sophia Haynes Yes it def sounds like he likes you! But do YOU like HIM? Don't get caught up in feeling obligated to go out with someone just because they ask. I used to be so focused on getting a BF but I never actually asked myself "Do i want THIS person to actually be my bf? Or do i just want anyone to be my bf?"
Maude Boily-Dufour (4 years ago)
Hi shallon!! I have a crush on this guy i met a couple times like just around town and we have looked at eachother and smiled and stuff, we follow eachother on instagram but i dont know where to see him again and how to talk to him for the first time, What should i do??
Tahsina Tamanna (4 years ago)
Shallon .. i have a question . i m flirting with a guy for a few months on facebook .but he doesn't text me anymore . n i don't even text him more than 2 times . but i wished him on his birthday .he saw my massage but didn't even reply . i don't text him anymore . but he keep on liking and commenting on my status , my pictures but he doesn't text me. what should i do at this situation ?
Charlotte B (2 years ago)
Sounds like he's trying to confuse you or is playing hard to get. Guys can be confusing a lot and we never know what they mean. I would just do the same back to him- also play hard to get- and see if he starts crawling back to you.
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
+Tahsina Tamanna Nothing. He has more than enough ways to get in touch with you on a more one-on-one level (text, DM, chat, or HELLO, real life!) but he's not because he simply doesn't want to. Liking a photo is literally the least amount of effort someone can put in and we shouldn't be applauding boys for that or thinking it means they like us. When a boy likes you, he comes after you. Period. If he doesn't, then that, unfortunately, is your answer. Move on and forget him. Unfollow and block him if it'll help you get past it.
clovebooksdiva (4 years ago)
I NEED YOUR HELP!!! Ok so I've known this guy for like ever, but we stopped hanging out for like 2 years. I recently found him on Instagram and kik and I sent him a message saying : hey! Do you remember me? And he didn't read it for 2 days. Ever since I was little I had a crush on him since I was little and I still like him. I texted him again saying hi! And he answered immediately saying hey! And I was like how are you? Do you rember me? And he responded quickly saying I'm great!! How are you? And another one saying of course I remember! So I responded and he hasn't read or responded. What do I do?!?!
Blayne (4 years ago)
Hey shallon I've been texting this boy for 2 months first he was on and off with his girl then they broke up he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he liked me and another girl I saw messages of calling the other girl "his baby" and he said there not official YET (not to me) after I apologized for being a little to pushy should I text back or how should I train him because I don't want to loose him ~Alison
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
You are getting played by this guy in a big way. He's texting you because he's bored and it boots his ego to know that you like him. But, he's not ever going to ask you out. Why? Because it's been two months. That's is MORE than enough time for a guy to decide if he wants to ask a girl out. It literally won't take more than 3 days of texting. Never more than a week, certainly not two months.  And just look at what you wrote me--you are chasing chasing chasing him. And it's not working. If he likes someone else, chasing him HARDER will only turn him off. Boys are meant to chase US, not the other way around. If they aren't chasing us it's simply because they don't want to. And no amount of clever texting or strategic flirting will change that. If he's into someone else, let him be. Let go, STOP texting him, take back your power and your dignity. This boy is not the one.  
Haley Hicks (4 years ago)
Kiss your hand 10 times and say your crushes name 15 times then repost this on another video and your crush will ask you out tomorrow
Rippa (4 years ago)
HELP! Okay so I have a situation here which is so confusing for me!! So two years ago I met this guy and we used to hang out together and talk almost every week through person and text. The relationship kind of faded out because we went our separate ways. Last year I found out by one of his best mates that he used to like me but was way to shy to talk to me, but I kind of just brushed that off until two weeks ago. I got a text from him out of nowhere saying how he thought I looked attractive that day at school. Ever since then everyday he would text me asking how I was and what I was doing, asking questions about my personal life and just wanting to get to know me better. He seems like he actually cares and he always texts me first and he has made it like a daily thing now and it's confusing me. Yesterday he over heard guys talking about how they thought I was hot and he messaged me right away saying to 'watch out!' For them because there not the right guys for me because they will only hurt me and he thinks I deserve someone much better. I have no idea what's going on honestly I don't really like this guy myself but at the same time if I knew he liked me I could see this maybe becoming something in the future. Thanks shallon I hope u can help x
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
What's going on is: he's being very selfish. No where in there did you say "And then he asked me out on a date." He's keeping his hooks in you to boost his ego, pass the time, make him feel good about himself--selfish boys get off on knowing that they're the bright spot in a girls day...but don't really give anything concrete back to them in the way of dates, gifts, or commitment.  If he were TRULY into you, he'd ask you out. Period. Guys and girls are alike in that when we see something we want, we go for it. We don't take weeks or months or, in your case, literally years, waiting it out and biding our time. For what? He has all the "data" on you he needs to make a decision about going after you. And he's not. Why?  He's super selfish, like I said. And that whole "Oh watch out for other guys!" thing is BEYOND manipulative and selfish. He doesn't want you to be distracted by an ACTUAL guy who may ACTUALLY date you. He wants you as his own little toy.  Bullshit. Take back your power and cut him off. If he wanted to ask you out, he would've. He doesn't. He's using you and deliberately distracting you from finding a true BF. Cut him off and make room in your life for REAL love!
Hannah Marie (4 years ago)
Yesterday at school everyone was saying that his girlfriend broke up with him and that he is fine from the breakup but I'm afraid its a prank or something because this one girl likes a kid named Zach and his girlfriend played a prank on her saying they broke up and she asked him out and everyone started laughing at her she didn't show up to school the next day but she's fine now. What should I do?
Jada Johnson (4 years ago)
Ok so there is this guy in my English and Math class that I like and I'm pretty sure he likes me back because last week two of his best friends came up to me and asked if I liked him. But what I wanted to ask was how do kinda show that I like him but not looking desperate? I know it might sound crazy but I was wondering if that's possible or a good idea.
Hannah Marie (4 years ago)
Hi shallon I really need help with my crush. He has a girlfriend but I asked him if he liked me back and he said he liked seven out of fourteen and it made me happy. I just got a Snapchat on my new phone and I feel weird asking him if he can add me on Snapchat because he has a girlfriend but he said he kind of likes me back.what do I do???
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
If he has a GF, do NOT pursue him, which you are definitely doing now: adding him on Snapchat, asking if he likes you (NEVER NEVER DO THAT). And 7/14 is a 50%, which is below an F grade, so that shouldn't be making you happy. This boy is basically evaluating you like you would livestock, which is revolting and so offensive. Bottom line: He's not going to leave her for you--and even if he does, it's just a matter of time until he'll be flirting with the next girl, and you'll be the one getting ditched. Back off, take back your dignity because right now you're coming off as way too into him, and a bit desperate. I know this sounds harsh but I'd rather you hear it from me than from people at school who are noticing the same thing. Walk away, and get it together. 
Sophie Waltho (4 years ago)
So theres this guy in my english and maths and politics class, im kinda friends with him but kinda not, i fancy him and a couple of his friends have said that he likes me. A couple of days ago, we both hid in the equiptment cupboard during gym and played ping-pong all lesson, and he keeps wanting to talk to me and stuff. My friend is going out wiv a boy who used to be his best friend and my crush used to fancy her before they started going out, anyway my friend (call her jayne) asked him if he was flirting with me, after he tried to kinda hug me and put his chin on my shoulder, and he said "um well... Not really" and he keeps talking to me in maths and smiles at me a lot. I have his number and snapchat but dont text or message each other. I wouldnt know what to say without it sounding weird, and since hes never messaged me, does he not like me? I really like him, but dont know whether he likes me. Can i please have your honest opinion? Also he says he doesnt fancy me when my friends ask him but then he keeps wanting to pair up in lessons? Idk whats going on
Shallon Lester (4 years ago)
FIrstly, you need to STOP having your friends talk to him. They will 1,000% scare him away. Seriously. And stop asking his friends about him. That will also creep him out. It sounds like he is interested in you (he may not LIKE like you yet but he def sounds curious) so just take it slow and see where it goes. Romance is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't try to read into every single interaction. A guy shows he likes you with a COLLECTION of actions, not just one.  And seriously your friends need to STFU. Watch this video to see what I'm talking about (go to the 3 min mark)...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnQJxvABtXE And also this one: http://youtu.be/q255e6fpoMA
Jan Lima (4 years ago)
these are so selfish
Sarah Corcoran (4 years ago)
This girl is so wrong

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